I can feel it growing back.

[drayco_]

Hey everyone. I hope for those reading, things in your life are good and you're happy.

I don't mean to be a debbie downer but I don't feel I have many people to talk to. My situation really sucks. I was mis-diagnosed many times by doctors. Ended up in the emergency room. Was in bad shape. Things happened so fast, next thing I know I'm laying on a bed being irradiated everyday along with a pump surgically placed in my chest (right next to my heart) which had a chemo bag hooked up to it slowly pumping in poison even while I slept. Now that all that's over and I'm healing up from all the damage they have already done, now they want to cut a bunch of stuff out. Important stuff. I am 30 years old. What's sad is I felt better. But now I can feel it growing back inside me. The throbbing pain is starting to get worse. My insurance is only willing to cover me for conventional treatment. Meaning cutting me all up and more chemo. I can't and won't do that. I have been scrabbling doing research. Really working hard and eating as healthy as possible but I already was like that. I think I was exposed to something while deployed. I was planning on flying out to OR and trying to get my card since OR is the only state that doesn't require you to be a state resident. The only thing is i don't know any one out there. I have money saved up and would be able to fly out there and stay for a month or two. If I end up going to OR and not being able to get my hands on high concentrated medicine and spending what I had for the trip, lodging +medicine cost, not only would it take all my savings, it would take whatever hope I had left and possibly my life. The only hope I have now is finding some way to get this medicine and not ruining my life or dying in the process. But I guess my life is pretty much ruined. I don't have options. No good options at least. I wish we lived in a better world. A world where we weren't being systematically wiped out, just slowly and painfully so "they" can make money off it. I just can't believe something so amazing like cannabis can be illegal while on every corner in America there is a fast food place or quickie mart selling gmo artificial poison legally. That should make everyone want to scream this is not right! A plant that would help me I can't get. And I shouldn't have to be even doing this. We live in the year 2013. I shouldn't nor anyone be in this position. Spending hours online searching and reading. All your research leads you to oil. Even theNationalCancer Institute's own research shows nothing but beneficial activity in the cannabinoid system, anti-inflammatory properties, anti-tumor properties and so much more. It truely is an alien plant to me. Nothing else like it anywhere. But it's just not right that because I am from a certain state or country, I can't have access to the medicine I need, medicine that would help. I have to use everything I have to go across the country and it's not even a guarantee I can get it. It's hard to have any hope after getting all this out. I'm afraid it's going to spread......



I'm a good person. I didn't deserve this, and neither does anyone else.

Sorry for my vent. I hope I didn't ruin anybody's night. If anyone could help I would forever be in your debt. This just wasn't the plan..

Thanks for reading..

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