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05-22-2012, 08:05 PM
Started by
Desiderata Aug 11 2011 04:42 PM
This crazy ride started in October 2000. I had a freak accident at work that compressed my vertebrae, rupturing two discs (L4, L5, S1) and nicked the myelin off of a nerve root near my spine.This set off some muscle spasms that still have not gone away. We tried epidurals, facet blocks, trigger point injections, physical therapy, massage and way too many muscle relaxers and pain meds. The pain not only did not go away, but got worse as time went by.
In 2002, after a facet block that nicked the same bare spot on my central wiring, we could not stop the pain and spasms. It was so bad that you could actually see the bruises appearing on my spine and butt cheek. It literally felt like a combination of an axe, a burning knife and vice clenching down on my spine. After a few emergency calls to the neuro/pain doc, and some very powerful pain meds, he finally told my daughter to try whatever we had to help me stop screaming. All she had was some decent weed. She actually asked him if it would be alright. 'Try it', he said, or bring her to the ER for some morphine.
A few hits and I felt the calm coming. Then the melting in my lower back. I woke up fourteen hours later with nearly no pain and a dilemma. Do I risk my job and use cannabis for the pain?
I couldn't.
That's when we decided that a low dose of Oxycontin would help manage the pain so I could continue working. 10mg, twice a day for starters. About a year later, I was up to 30mg, twice a day. In 2005, I was up to 40mg, three times a day. I was a zombie. The pain simply didn't matter. Oh, it was there, but I didn't care. About anything. The dosing fluctuated for a few more years, but never went to zero.
In 2008, I had some simple surgery that allowed my doctors to get some pictures. My liver was 250% larger than it should be, inflamed and pale. My doctor confronted me with the issue of my 'alcohol' consumption. Problem is, I don't drink. Let me take that back. I do have a Jameson on the rocks for my birthday! I don't drink a fifth of anything in a day. He was puzzled. I wasn't. I told him it was probably the Oxy, but he offered no help. I even asked if I could be put in rehab just to get off the stuff. No help from my healthcare network.
Last spring, the spasms in my lower back got so bad that they tore and locked the hamstring on my left leg. The trip to the ER was interesting. Everybody was ready to help me until I told them I was on Oxy. At first, they were ready to take an x-ray, but after that they tried to tell me to go home and 'dose up'. I pointed out an obvious problem. My leg was LOCKED. Bent at the knee, and would not move, not to mention the pain when we tried. They gave me two doses of Demerol and my leg finally relaxed enough for an x-ray. That was fine. They sent me home with no answers and still in pain. My pain doc put me on some more steroids, this time the daily dose, not the five day. That didn't work, but made me sick as ever. I knew I'd need to nearly overdose on the oxy to get some relief. Or.......smoke myself stupid with the stash I had.
It worked. Better than I ever thought it could.
I became more intent on finding a way to get the real medicine I needed. While I was doing that, my doctor had more bad news for me. My blood tests showed a severe elevation in my liver enzymes. Again, I thought it was the oxy. After more blood work, one to eliminate the diagnosis of Lupus, my doctor began to realize that I may have MS, especially since I did have an injury to the myelin so close to my spinal cord. This made me more intent on getting what I needed. I was able to get some of what I needed, but it drained my budget and fed the street dealers. That's when I decided to get brave and start my indoor garden. My son, Asuz, aka Ace, got all of that started for me.
While waiting for my grow, I was gifted some roots to make balm. That was my first non-smoking experience I had with cannabis. The warmth when applied to my skin was one thing. The sensation that I can only describe as a pure and powerful healing moved deeper and deeper. The day after my first use, I think half of my joints, especially my hips and knees, went back into place. Much of the pain was gone. That was a gift that went beyond the physical.
Then I got brave. Really brave for a timid, paranoid pot head. I called Pete. With even more courage, Ace and I went to Pete's in March. I met a man and wife with hearts so full of love, compassion and care that it nearly overwhelmed me. Especially when Punta told me that we'd be making some oil the next day! That was the day that changed so much. Those sweet little brownies transformed me from a painful mess to a kid again, running up and down the stairs with a playful husky! I didn't even realize it until Ace pointed it out. Maybe that was a 'Desi moment', not sure! I was at Pete's house, and well, 'nuf said! I was able to make my own batch of oil soon after that with just trim from our grow.
To date, I have not taken an oxycontin since June 13, 2011. I still have three 10mg tabs in my medicine drawer. They are my trophy. I will say that I've been tempted to take one and haven't. Hence, the victory!
I have not had a seizure since June 20th. My mind is so much clearer, it actually feels like I have more of my mind back. My skin is clearer, it looks like I've gotten five years back in my face. I'm more coordinated and less clumsy. I don't stutter like I did and I'm less confused. I am having some problems managing the pain, but it's different. I am able to move more, stretch out things that have been tightened for years. That can cause it's own discomfort. I may still be suffering from some withdraw symptoms, since those can last for six months to a year. I still take the anti-seizure medication, but I don't think I need it. I'm tapering off the blood pressure medication, because it can bring my blood pressure down too low. Maybe those will be gone soon, too.
All from just a few drops of a perfect medicine. I've conquered one of the ugliest demons in my life.
Thank you Cannabis
I couldn't have done it without you.
Posted 29 March 2012 - 06:46 AM
I've had some March Madness here in my corner. Truly testing the power of the plant.
On Sunday, the 18th, something started a spasm in my back that seemed to set off every nerve in my spine and literally twist me right round. I ended up in the hospital getting a full body MRI. No news other than my spine won't rest. They sent me home on Altram because I didn't want Oxy.
For some reason in the next few days, I started feeling sick, weak, fatigued, but with a few spurts of energy. I was seeing my chiropractors and things started loosening up. Then Thursday, March 22, I woke up coughing up blood. I thought maybe it was from an old tooth extraction I had trouble with all last year, but I don't know. I ended up in the hospital on IV antibiotics and breathing treatments. For four days, they couldn't tell me what was wrong, and my pain got worse and worse. I needed my medicine for that pain, and I had Ace bring it to me. Day two wasn't so bad, but by the next day, just having the oil and balm wasn't enough. Add to that thought that I don't have health insurance and this hospital bill was growing. Like a fool, I signed myself out AMA (Against Medical Advice). They gave me a prescription for the antibiotic and I picked it up and went home.
That was Sunday, March 25. It felt great to take a shower, toke a bowl and go to bed.
Monday felt like a wonderful day. Back to my canna routine and feeling better. I actually fell asleep without any trouble. However, I woke up to what felt like my jaw exploding. I've felt that before with an abscess, and I'm hoping that's all it is. A good hefty dose of my canna root balm and NN2 calmed the ache. I have to say that this is making me paranoid now, since I've had these crazy symptoms since I've had that full body MRI a week ago. Could that have put my body over the edge? Could there be something that had been masked by the years of Oxy that is just becoming obvious?
Right now I'm waiting for my daughter to pick me up to see my primary doc so we can expedite some insurance. I'm terrified. If it wasn't for the extra potent canna root and oil, I would be having a total mental breakdown right now.
I am praying that it's just an infection from my teeth, a spasm in my shoulder and a pinched nerve in my lumbar/sacral region, and that I'm just a hypochondriac!
I miss you guys, and I hope I'll have more energy to come back to the GP fold and play very soon. I need all the prayers and blessings I can gather right now, and I know I can count on all of you here for that. I'm sorry to drop this like a bomb, but I needed to get this off my mind before my baby girl showed up, and this is the only way I knew I could do it. Because I know I'm putting it in hands that can handle it here.
Peace and Healing,
Posted 28 September 2011 - 09:59 AM
I have a deluge of links here, haven't read them all, but i was running out of room trying to keep up!
http://forums.cannab...&Number=1224067
http://www.altmeds.c...bis/description
http://www.unodc.org..._1_page003.html
http://books.google....oultice&f=false
http://books.google....oultice&f=false
http://billingsmedic....com/rules.aspx
http://www.cannabis.za.net/uses.html
Posted 30 August 2011 - 08:37 PM
I'm still free of the Oxy. I did find out however, that if I miss taking my oil for even a half day, I can feel it! The temptation to take something stronger is always there, and those three pills will always be there because I won't take them. I've just made another batch of oil, so I should be good for a while. I should set a timer for the Oil like I did for the Oxy!
Posted 05 October 2011 - 07:51 AM
I'm experimenting today. Since I've gotten low on oil, and I have plenty of root balm, I'm trying the root balm.
I just took some at 8:30, so we'll see what happens.![[Image: thinking.gif]](https://www.greenpassion.org/public/style_emoticons/default/thinking.gif)
Knowing this plant, it can only be goodness!
** It's been about two hours since I ingested the same amount of root balm as I would have oil. I am feeling some pain relief and some muscles relaxing. The biggest thing I've noticed is the way my fatigue seems to be fading.
I'll give it another hour and see if I need more. I may not.
Update:
It's becoming more clear to me that the more I cast off the shame of my past addictions and openly admit to them, the more pride I can take in how I use and share my MMJ. That way, the more others see how I've gotten better, the less they see me as a pot head or a stoner. It's a win, win card for MMJ. I still celebrate the days that have become better. Those that have known me and not seen me for a while are shocked when they do! I'm much more alert, I look better and I can actually carry on an intelligent conversation!
I couldn't have done it without cannabis, and I know that because I tried for years. Right now the hardest thing for me to do is come to terms with the limitations I still have. They're in my way, but some are here to stay. However, I will make them as feel as unwelcome as possible! Until then, I'll take the good with the bit of bad, it's much better now that the good is winning.
Update:
Sent Today, 07:59 PM
10:00 pm
It's been nearly a year!
Things still hurt, but move much better. I'm standing up straighter, my skin and eyes look alive again, and my mind is open again. Smoking it still seems to work better on seizures, but the oil and balm are priceless in this victory.
I'll be back to post more. The lawnmower gave me a workout today!
Peace and healing!
Desiderata
Desiderata Aug 11 2011 04:42 PM
This crazy ride started in October 2000. I had a freak accident at work that compressed my vertebrae, rupturing two discs (L4, L5, S1) and nicked the myelin off of a nerve root near my spine.This set off some muscle spasms that still have not gone away. We tried epidurals, facet blocks, trigger point injections, physical therapy, massage and way too many muscle relaxers and pain meds. The pain not only did not go away, but got worse as time went by.
In 2002, after a facet block that nicked the same bare spot on my central wiring, we could not stop the pain and spasms. It was so bad that you could actually see the bruises appearing on my spine and butt cheek. It literally felt like a combination of an axe, a burning knife and vice clenching down on my spine. After a few emergency calls to the neuro/pain doc, and some very powerful pain meds, he finally told my daughter to try whatever we had to help me stop screaming. All she had was some decent weed. She actually asked him if it would be alright. 'Try it', he said, or bring her to the ER for some morphine.
A few hits and I felt the calm coming. Then the melting in my lower back. I woke up fourteen hours later with nearly no pain and a dilemma. Do I risk my job and use cannabis for the pain?
I couldn't.
That's when we decided that a low dose of Oxycontin would help manage the pain so I could continue working. 10mg, twice a day for starters. About a year later, I was up to 30mg, twice a day. In 2005, I was up to 40mg, three times a day. I was a zombie. The pain simply didn't matter. Oh, it was there, but I didn't care. About anything. The dosing fluctuated for a few more years, but never went to zero.
In 2008, I had some simple surgery that allowed my doctors to get some pictures. My liver was 250% larger than it should be, inflamed and pale. My doctor confronted me with the issue of my 'alcohol' consumption. Problem is, I don't drink. Let me take that back. I do have a Jameson on the rocks for my birthday! I don't drink a fifth of anything in a day. He was puzzled. I wasn't. I told him it was probably the Oxy, but he offered no help. I even asked if I could be put in rehab just to get off the stuff. No help from my healthcare network.
Last spring, the spasms in my lower back got so bad that they tore and locked the hamstring on my left leg. The trip to the ER was interesting. Everybody was ready to help me until I told them I was on Oxy. At first, they were ready to take an x-ray, but after that they tried to tell me to go home and 'dose up'. I pointed out an obvious problem. My leg was LOCKED. Bent at the knee, and would not move, not to mention the pain when we tried. They gave me two doses of Demerol and my leg finally relaxed enough for an x-ray. That was fine. They sent me home with no answers and still in pain. My pain doc put me on some more steroids, this time the daily dose, not the five day. That didn't work, but made me sick as ever. I knew I'd need to nearly overdose on the oxy to get some relief. Or.......smoke myself stupid with the stash I had.
It worked. Better than I ever thought it could.
I became more intent on finding a way to get the real medicine I needed. While I was doing that, my doctor had more bad news for me. My blood tests showed a severe elevation in my liver enzymes. Again, I thought it was the oxy. After more blood work, one to eliminate the diagnosis of Lupus, my doctor began to realize that I may have MS, especially since I did have an injury to the myelin so close to my spinal cord. This made me more intent on getting what I needed. I was able to get some of what I needed, but it drained my budget and fed the street dealers. That's when I decided to get brave and start my indoor garden. My son, Asuz, aka Ace, got all of that started for me.
While waiting for my grow, I was gifted some roots to make balm. That was my first non-smoking experience I had with cannabis. The warmth when applied to my skin was one thing. The sensation that I can only describe as a pure and powerful healing moved deeper and deeper. The day after my first use, I think half of my joints, especially my hips and knees, went back into place. Much of the pain was gone. That was a gift that went beyond the physical.
Then I got brave. Really brave for a timid, paranoid pot head. I called Pete. With even more courage, Ace and I went to Pete's in March. I met a man and wife with hearts so full of love, compassion and care that it nearly overwhelmed me. Especially when Punta told me that we'd be making some oil the next day! That was the day that changed so much. Those sweet little brownies transformed me from a painful mess to a kid again, running up and down the stairs with a playful husky! I didn't even realize it until Ace pointed it out. Maybe that was a 'Desi moment', not sure! I was at Pete's house, and well, 'nuf said! I was able to make my own batch of oil soon after that with just trim from our grow.
To date, I have not taken an oxycontin since June 13, 2011. I still have three 10mg tabs in my medicine drawer. They are my trophy. I will say that I've been tempted to take one and haven't. Hence, the victory!
I have not had a seizure since June 20th. My mind is so much clearer, it actually feels like I have more of my mind back. My skin is clearer, it looks like I've gotten five years back in my face. I'm more coordinated and less clumsy. I don't stutter like I did and I'm less confused. I am having some problems managing the pain, but it's different. I am able to move more, stretch out things that have been tightened for years. That can cause it's own discomfort. I may still be suffering from some withdraw symptoms, since those can last for six months to a year. I still take the anti-seizure medication, but I don't think I need it. I'm tapering off the blood pressure medication, because it can bring my blood pressure down too low. Maybe those will be gone soon, too.
All from just a few drops of a perfect medicine. I've conquered one of the ugliest demons in my life.
Thank you Cannabis
I couldn't have done it without you.
Posted 29 March 2012 - 06:46 AM
I've had some March Madness here in my corner. Truly testing the power of the plant.
On Sunday, the 18th, something started a spasm in my back that seemed to set off every nerve in my spine and literally twist me right round. I ended up in the hospital getting a full body MRI. No news other than my spine won't rest. They sent me home on Altram because I didn't want Oxy.
For some reason in the next few days, I started feeling sick, weak, fatigued, but with a few spurts of energy. I was seeing my chiropractors and things started loosening up. Then Thursday, March 22, I woke up coughing up blood. I thought maybe it was from an old tooth extraction I had trouble with all last year, but I don't know. I ended up in the hospital on IV antibiotics and breathing treatments. For four days, they couldn't tell me what was wrong, and my pain got worse and worse. I needed my medicine for that pain, and I had Ace bring it to me. Day two wasn't so bad, but by the next day, just having the oil and balm wasn't enough. Add to that thought that I don't have health insurance and this hospital bill was growing. Like a fool, I signed myself out AMA (Against Medical Advice). They gave me a prescription for the antibiotic and I picked it up and went home.
That was Sunday, March 25. It felt great to take a shower, toke a bowl and go to bed.
Monday felt like a wonderful day. Back to my canna routine and feeling better. I actually fell asleep without any trouble. However, I woke up to what felt like my jaw exploding. I've felt that before with an abscess, and I'm hoping that's all it is. A good hefty dose of my canna root balm and NN2 calmed the ache. I have to say that this is making me paranoid now, since I've had these crazy symptoms since I've had that full body MRI a week ago. Could that have put my body over the edge? Could there be something that had been masked by the years of Oxy that is just becoming obvious?
Right now I'm waiting for my daughter to pick me up to see my primary doc so we can expedite some insurance. I'm terrified. If it wasn't for the extra potent canna root and oil, I would be having a total mental breakdown right now.
I am praying that it's just an infection from my teeth, a spasm in my shoulder and a pinched nerve in my lumbar/sacral region, and that I'm just a hypochondriac!
I miss you guys, and I hope I'll have more energy to come back to the GP fold and play very soon. I need all the prayers and blessings I can gather right now, and I know I can count on all of you here for that. I'm sorry to drop this like a bomb, but I needed to get this off my mind before my baby girl showed up, and this is the only way I knew I could do it. Because I know I'm putting it in hands that can handle it here.
Peace and Healing,
Posted 28 September 2011 - 09:59 AM
I have a deluge of links here, haven't read them all, but i was running out of room trying to keep up!
http://forums.cannab...&Number=1224067
http://www.altmeds.c...bis/description
http://www.unodc.org..._1_page003.html
http://books.google....oultice&f=false
http://books.google....oultice&f=false
http://billingsmedic....com/rules.aspx
http://www.cannabis.za.net/uses.html
Posted 30 August 2011 - 08:37 PM
I'm still free of the Oxy. I did find out however, that if I miss taking my oil for even a half day, I can feel it! The temptation to take something stronger is always there, and those three pills will always be there because I won't take them. I've just made another batch of oil, so I should be good for a while. I should set a timer for the Oil like I did for the Oxy!
Posted 05 October 2011 - 07:51 AM
I'm experimenting today. Since I've gotten low on oil, and I have plenty of root balm, I'm trying the root balm.
I just took some at 8:30, so we'll see what happens.
Knowing this plant, it can only be goodness!** It's been about two hours since I ingested the same amount of root balm as I would have oil. I am feeling some pain relief and some muscles relaxing. The biggest thing I've noticed is the way my fatigue seems to be fading.
I'll give it another hour and see if I need more. I may not.
Update:
It's becoming more clear to me that the more I cast off the shame of my past addictions and openly admit to them, the more pride I can take in how I use and share my MMJ. That way, the more others see how I've gotten better, the less they see me as a pot head or a stoner. It's a win, win card for MMJ. I still celebrate the days that have become better. Those that have known me and not seen me for a while are shocked when they do! I'm much more alert, I look better and I can actually carry on an intelligent conversation!
I couldn't have done it without cannabis, and I know that because I tried for years. Right now the hardest thing for me to do is come to terms with the limitations I still have. They're in my way, but some are here to stay. However, I will make them as feel as unwelcome as possible! Until then, I'll take the good with the bit of bad, it's much better now that the good is winning.
Update:
Sent Today, 07:59 PM
10:00 pm
It's been nearly a year!
Things still hurt, but move much better. I'm standing up straighter, my skin and eyes look alive again, and my mind is open again. Smoking it still seems to work better on seizures, but the oil and balm are priceless in this victory.
I'll be back to post more. The lawnmower gave me a workout today!
Peace and healing!
Desiderata
